


Moirails

by Farla



Category: Homestuck
Genre: BTF, Gen, Pesterlog, Troll Romance, rbtp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-14 07:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/146815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farla/pseuds/Farla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Someone, correctly or not, interprets John and Karkat's friendship as moirallegience. Karkat takes it poorly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moirails

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anonymous](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Anonymous).



CURRENT carcinoGeneticist [CCG] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board TEAM ADORABLOODTHIRSTY. 

CCG: SO HERE WE ARE ONCE AGAIN.  
  
CCG: A FRESH START! A CHANCE FOR YOU NOT TO BE IMBECILES AND SHOW OFF YOUR ABILITY TO FOLLOW SIMPLE DIRECTIONS.  
  
CCG: ALL IT TAKES IS ONE SIMPLE ACTION  
  
CCG: OR NONACTION IN FACT  
  
CCG: ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS NOT TYPE A BUNCH OF STUPID BULLSHIT  
  
CCG: AND THEN NOT SEND IT  
  
CCG: REALLY IT'S SO EASY YOU WONDER WHY YOU NEEDED TO ASK  
  
CCG: EVERYONE GOT IT?  
  
CCG: GOOD.  
  
CCG: GREAT.  
  
CCG: INCREDIBLE  
  
CCG: YOU HAVE OVERCOME YOUR MANY SHORTCOMINGS.  
  
CCG: AND ACCOMPLISHED WHAT A BUNCH OF PUPA COULD DO  
  
CCG: ALL IT TOOK WAS DOZENS OF MY PATIENT REPEATED EXPLANATIONS  
  
CCG: AND BANNINGS  
  
CCG: CONFUCKINGGRATULATIONS!  
  
CCG: BUT ENOUGH OF THIS BABYSITTING BULLSHIT  
  
CCG: ON TO THE MEMO.  
  
CCG: SO AS YOU SHOULD KNOW NOW THE ENDGAME IS LOOKING BAD  
  
CCG: IN FACT THERE'S REALLY NO REASON TO THINK IT'S ACTUALLY PART OF THE GAME ANY MORE  
  
CCG: AND ALL WE'VE FIGURED OUT IS THERE ARE THOSE FUCKING KIDS  
  
CCG: IN THEIR FUCKED UP SESSION  
  
CCG: FUCKING UP  
  
CCG: AND SO WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE  
  
CCG: FUCKING WONDERFUL REALLY.  
  
PAST twinArmageddons [PTA] 0:12 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
  
PTA: kk are you really 2tiill goiing on about thii2  
  
PTA: ii ju2t had two lii2ten two you biitchiing and moaniing.  
  
PTA: why don't you giive iit a re2t.  
  
CCG   
  
banned PTA from responding to memo.  
  
CCG: STILL BEING OUTDONE BY FUCKING PUPA I GUESS.  
  
CCG: SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW WE WON THIS GAME  
  
CCG: THEN I REMEMBER WE DIDN'T.  
  
CCG: FUCK.  
  
FUTURE adiosToreador [FAT] 4:04 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
  
FAT: i, uH, THINK,  
  
FAT: tHAT, uH, yOU MIGHT FEEL BETTER IF YOU TALKED TO YOUR MOIRAIL,  
  
FAT: bECAUSE, yOU SEEM TO JUST GET WORKED UP ABOUT THIS,  
  
FAT: aND THEN YOUR FUTURE SELF SHOWS UP TO INSULT YOU,  
  
FAT: iT'S LIKE tEREZI WAS SAYING EARLIER,  
  
CCG: OH FUCKING WONDERFUL TEREZI IS SAYING STUFF  
  
CCG: I DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING MOIRAIL  
  
CCG: WHO THE FUCK DID SHE SAY IT WAS  
  
CCG: OH GOD IT'S YOU ISN'T IT  
  
CCG: THAT'S WHY YOU SHOWED UP  
  
CCG: TAVROS MAYBE SOME DAY YOU'LL STOP GETTING MANIPULATED BY GIRLS  
  
FAT: tHAT'S, uM, tHAT'S NOT IT  
  
CCG: BUT TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY  
  
CCG   
  
banned FAT from responding to memo.  
  
CCG: ARE WE DONE?  
  
PAST arachnidsGrip    
[PAG]   
1:12 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
  
PAG: K88888888rk88888888t  
  
PAG: There's no need to 8e so jealoooooooous  
  
PAG: just 8ecause none of us want to put up with your whiiiiiiiiny 8ullshiiiiiiiit.  
  
CCG   
banned PAG from responding to memo.  
  
CCG: HOW ABOUT NOW?  
  
CCG: ARE WE DONE NOW?  
  
CCG: HAVE WE ALL FINALLY USED UP OUR ALLOTMENT OF STUPID FOR THE DAY?  
  
CCG: OR DAYS  
  
CCG: WHENEVER, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN  
  
CCG: WELL?  
  
CCG: ANYONE ELSE?  
  
CCG: NO FUTURE SELF GOING TO POP UP LIKE A TOOL?  
  
CCG: GREAT.  
  
CCG: SO BACK TO BUSINESS.  
  
FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 4:16 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
  
FGC: K4RK4T WHY DON'T YOU JUST T4LK TO YOUR MO1R41L  
  
FGC: 1NST34D OF B41T1NG YOURS3LF  
  
FGC: 4ND H4V1NG YOUR BL4CKROM S3LFC3ST PS4S 1N FRONT OF 3V3RYON3  
  
FGC: >:(  
  
CCG: OK SO FIRST FUCK YOU  
  
CCG: SECOND WHAT THE FUCK TEREZI, TAVROS? SERIOUSLY?  
  
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 4:21 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
  
FCG: OH FUCK YOU TEREZI THIS IS WHY YOU WERE GIGGLING  
  
FCG: HEY DUMBASS WAIT A SECOND  
  
CCG: OK FUCK YOU ALL  
  
CCG   
banned FGC from responding to memo.  
  
CCG   
banned FCG from responding to memo.  
  
CCG: IS EVERYONE DONE?  
  
CCG: YEAH I THOUGHT SO  
  
CCG: GOOD.  
  
FUTURE gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 5:02 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
  
FGC: DON'T B3 STUP1D OF COURS3 1 D1DN'T M34N T4VROS  
  
FGC: WH4T DO YOU T4K3 M3 FOR?  
  
FGC: TH4T K1ND OF TH1NG ONLY H4PP3NS IN STUP1D MOV13S  
  
FGC: I M34NT YOUR B3ST H4T3FR13ND JOHN  
  
CCG: WHAT.  
  
FGC: 1 KNOW 1 KNOW, YOU R34LLY N33D 4N 4USP1ST1CE  
  
FGC: TO M3D14T3 B3TW33N YOU 4ND YOUR P4ST/FUTUR3 S3LV3S  
  
FGC: BUT 1'M PR3TTY SUR3 NO ON3 1S 1NT3R3ST3D 1N YOU TH4T W4Y  
  
FGC: SO UNT1L TH3N MO1R41LL3GI4NC3 W1LL H4V3 TO DO  
  
CCG: THE FUCK  
  
CCG: YOU'RE ACCUSING ME OF BEING MOIRAILS WITH THAT HUMAN  
  
FGC: Y34H YOU'R3 4 COMPL3T3 P3RV3RT  
  
FGC: BUT 4T L34ST TH4T'S ONLY P4L3  
  
FGC: NOT TH3 O1ILY ST1NK OF YOUR YOUR BL4CK FL1RT1NG 4TT3MPTS  
  
FGC: 4ND 1F YOU CONT4CT H1M YOURS3LF 4T L34ST W3 WON'T H4V3 TO SM3LL 1T  
  
PAST centaursTesticle [PCT] 1:26 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PCT: D--> I agree  
PCT: D--> These public displays are disgusting.  
PCT: D--> The thing with the humans especially.  
PCT: D--> The least you could do is keep your deviancies private.  
  
CCG   
banned FGC from responding to memo.  
  
CCG   
banned PCT from responding to memo.  
  
PAST cuttlefishCuller [PCC] 0:16 HOURS AGO responded to memo.  
PCC: You s)(ouldn't be embarrassed.  
PCC: -Every relations)(ip s)(ould be c)(eris)(ed.  
PCC: No matter )(ow unusual glub!  
PCC: -Especially you I t)(ink!  
PCC: If anybody needs moirails it'd be you.  
PCC: glub glub glub  
PCC: 38)  
CCG banned PCC from responding to memo.  
CCG: THANKS GUYS. I FEEL A LOT BETTER NOW.  
CCG: THE KNOWLEDGE YOU GRUBSUCKERS WILL ALL DIE SOON  
CCG: HORRIBLY  
CCG: AND INEVITABLY  
CCG: MAKES ME NOT CARE ABOUT MY OWN IMPENDING DOOM  
CCG: IT'S WORTH IT.  
FUTURE twinArmageddons [FTA] 1:01 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.  
FTA: you're beiing 2o melodramatiic  
FTA: thiis iis why terezii wanted you two talk two john iin the fiirst place.  
CCG banned FTA from responding to memo.  
CCG: ALSO WHAT THE HELL FEFERI?  
CCG: MOIRAILS?  
CCG: LIKE I'M GOING THROUGH THEM LIKE CHIPS?  
CCG: THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS OK  
CCG: JUST BECAUSE YOU REPLACE THEM AT THE DROP OF THE HAT  
CCG: WHAT HAS TEREZI BEEN TELLING YOU GUYS  
CCG: NEVER MIND ACTUALLY I DON'T WANT TO KNOW  
CCG: WHATEVER IT IS IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHIT  
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] ??:? HOURS FROM AGO responded to memo.  
?EB: um hi.  
CCG: WHAT THE FUCK  
CCG: TEREZI DID THIS DIDN'T SHE.  
CCG: IT'S HER.  
?EB: uh yeah, she sent me this program.  
?EB: she said i could find something like  
?EB: "MY HUM4N CH4TROOMS"  
?EB: by going to the feature called memo  
?EB: because that's the troll term for it  
?EB: and  
CCG banned ?EB from responding to memo.  
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] ??:? HOURS FROM AGO responded to memo.  
?EB: that i should get on and talk to you  
?EB: wait why would you ban me?  
CCG banned ?EB from responding to memo.  
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] ??:? HOURS FROM AGO responded to memo.  
?EB: what's going on?  
CCG banned ?EB from responding to memo.  
CCG: AND STAY BANNED  
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] ??:? HOURS FROM AGO responded to memo.  
?EB: are you just typing that?  
?EB: is it a feature of your troll memorooms?  
?EB: that doesn't seem very superior at all  
?EB: am i just supposed to read it and go away?  
?EB: human chatrooms actually kick the person out  
CCG: IT IS KICKING YOU OUT  
CCG: IT'S JUST NOT KEEPING YOU OUT  
CCG: IT MUST NOT WORK BECAUSE IT DOESN'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE ON THE TIMELINE  
CCG: BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT ON THE TIMELINE  
CCG: AND SHOULD NOT BE HERE  
CCG: NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE SHOULD BE EITHER  
CCG: BUT THAT NEVER STOPPED THE IDIOTS  
?EB: really? cool!  
?EB: kind of like how we couldn't block you guys  
?EB: ha, now you know what it is like to be TROLLLLLED  
CCG: OH GOD JUST SHUT UP  
CCG: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE  
?EB: well terezi said you wanted to talk to me  
CCG: TEREZI IS A GRUBFUCKING LIAR  
CCG: WHO IS UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING I SAID TO HER  
CCG: AND BLOWING IT ALL OUT OF PROPORTION  
CCG: DOING EVERYTHING SHE CAN TO GET BACK AT ME.  
?EB: jeeze you sound really upset.  
?EB: uh even if you didn't ask to talk  
?EB: i guess i'm here so  
?EB: i'd be happy to listen  
CCG: THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT  
CCG: SHE'S MAD ABOUT SOMETHING STUPID  
?EB: ok  
CCG: IT'S LIKE NO ONE GETS IT  
CCG: THERE ISN'T TIME FOR THAT BULLSHIT NOW  
CCG: IT WAS DIFFERENT BACK THEN BECAUSE  
CCG: WE THOUGH WE WERE GOING TO WIN  
CCG: ONLY WE DIDN'T  
CCG: WE ONLY BEAT THE GAME  
CCG: AND THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW  
CCG: SO EXCUSE ME FOR NOT WANTING TO DEAL WITH THAT SHIT  
CCG: OR HAVING TIME  
CCG: IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE ELSE IS IN CHARGE HERE  
CCG: NO ONE DOES ANYTHING UNLESS I GET ON THEIR CASE CONSTANTLY  
CCG: I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF EVERYTHING  
CCG: AND NOW SHE'S GOING ON ABOUT MOIRAILS TO EVERYONE  
CCG: BECAUSE I NEEDED YET ANOTHER FUCKING THING  
?EB: oh yeah she told me about those.  
?EB: she said we're moirails  
CCG: SHE IS A FUCKING LIAR OK  
CCG: JUST FORGET EVERYTHING  
?EB: i guess i don't understand everything about trolls  
?EB: but we kind of are right?  
?EB: i means we're trying to help each other out!  
?EB: i didn't like you much at first but you're actually a pretty ok guy  
?EB: now that i know you better  
?EB: so i guess we're moirails!  
?EB: right?  
CCG: FINE  
CCG: FINE SURE  
?EB: just like i'm moirails with rose and dave and jade.  
?EB: uh, karkat?  
?EB: you there?  
CCG: THAT  
CCG: IS  
CCG: THE  
CCG: MOST  
CCG: DISGUSTING  
CCG: THING  
CCG: I'VE  
CCG: EVER  
CCG: HEARD  
CCG: I AM NOT BEING PART OF YOUR PERVERTED RELATIONSHIPS  
CCG: BIGAMIST  
CCG: I DON'T CARE WHAT TEREZI TOLD YOU ABOUT ME  
CCG: I AM NOT BEING PART OF A THREESOME  
CCG: OR FIVESOME  
CCG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE TERM IS  
CCG: ARE THERE EVEN WORDS FOR THIS?  
CCG: NO DON'T TELL ME I DON'T WANT TO KNOW  
CCG: ARG JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT  
CCG banned ?EB from responding to memo.  
??? ectoBiologist [?EB] ??:? HOURS FROM AGO responded to memo.  
?EB: what are you talking about?  
?EB: what's the big deal?  
CCG: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP  
CCG: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR DEVIANT LIFESTYLE  
CCG banned ?EB from responding to memo.  
CCG closed memo.   
  



End file.
